Clown Jokes:
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Heard any good clown jokes?


"I hate Clowns but have you ever noticed Clowns make the funniest faces when you taser them?"







"Sweet Dreams" The Clown by John Chlebus





HOLLY FUCKED UP VIDEO ABOUT CLOWNS
by THE FUCKED UP Crispin Glover


Clown Music


The Citizen Kane of Alcoholic Clown Movies!

Shakes the Clown gets ready





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Q: Why did Buttons the clown plant bird seeds in the back yard?

A: She wanted to grow birds.

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Everbody loves pie......except clowns

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Q: What scarier than being chased through an abandoned circus late at night by a crazed naked clown?

A: The Clown has a boner.

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I once had sex with a female clown. It was OK but weird. She twisted my dick into the shape of a poodle.


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Q: What do you call 2 Clowns driving around in a christmas truck full of dildos?

A: Toys for Twats


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If two clowns are having sex in the forest and no one is there to see it, is it still funny?

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I woke up the other morning and this clown was eating my foot. It was hysterical.

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Q: How do you make a dead clown float?
 

A: Take your foot off of it's head.

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OR

Q: How do you make a dead clown float? 

A: Add some Root Beer and 2 scoops of Ice Cream.

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Q: How do you kill a clown who has big floppy shoes?

A: With a big floppy sack of door knobs.

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A professional clown, while traveling in the wilds of an uncharted jungle, was taken captive by cannibals, along with the rest of his party.

Although the other members of his party were taken away to be boiled in the cannibals’ stew, the clown was taken to the outskirts of the village by the chief of the cannibals and released.

 “I’m grateful, but I don’t understand why you’re releasing me?” The Chief looked at the clown and said, “Clowns taste funny.”

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Q: What's Funnier than a Dead Baby?

A: A Dead Baby wearing a Clown Suit

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18. By the end of the party, he's got every damn kid doing the "pull my finger" trick.

17. Clown car must be started with breathalizer device.

16. Keeps screaming, "My name's not BO-zo, it's bo-ZO!"

15. References to Kierkegaard and Nietzsche are lost on most 5-year olds.

14. Props for his "disappearing" trick: a moving van and your wide-screen TV.

13. Scares the holy hell outta the kids during the "Severed Limb" trick.

12. Tells the kids he killed Barney in a blood match in Newark.

11. Didn't bring any balloons, but manages to twist your dachshund into other animal shapes.

10. Prefaces each trick with, "here's a little number I learned in the joint."

9. Not exactly the Peewee Herman impression you were expecting.

8. Wears a T-Shirt that says, "Drug-free since March!"

7. More interested in squirting seltzer into his Scotch than into his pants.

6. Those huge ears look too darn life-like, and the entire act consists of showing charts and complaining about the deficit.

5. A sad clown is one thing -- a clown who spends the entire party with a gun to his temple is another thing entirely.

4. Only balloon animals he can make are a snake and a "snake on acid."

3. Business cards include the phrase "From the Mind of Stephen King..."

2. Price list includes "lap dance" and "around the world."

1.
All the balloon animals are ribbed and lubricated.










The scariest house I have ever seen, no joke.